rekkidblogga

Minor flare-ups

Here's the thing about depression: It's an illness. It's chronic, like arthritis, and some days you feel it worse than other days. And it just comes up on you. You don't know when it's going to happen but you know it will come on and it will stay with you and make you feel strange or sad or in a small funk. For me, it's usually all of the three at once.

It's like that this week and I don't know why. My meds give me the reasoning to think about the right-nows and what-ifs and how comes. They keep depression from taking me over. But it's always with me. I do my best to remember that chemicals and their overflow in my brain affects my mood and that helps.

No. Not really. It just reminds me that all the flaws depression brings to mind when you're down, the nagging doubts -- all the self-blame when I think I'm less than I should be -- maybe it's not my fault after all. That's something, anyway.

posted by rekkidbraka @ 6:08 PM